guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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