So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
