she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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