Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
