Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Too much gin, very little bucket
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
