well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
