Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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