so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Come see our sink grown plant.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
