So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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