oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
