he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
