Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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