I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
