that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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