Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
