Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
