mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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