I'm really into asian looking animals
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
