i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
