We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
