i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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