Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
