OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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