she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
