I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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