I wish I could teleport
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Drake has all the answers
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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