It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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