you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
