This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
