Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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