The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
