She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We were destined to go to rehab together
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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