Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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