I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
