Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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