check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
