u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
