Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
