Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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