lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
