Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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