what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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