I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
