i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
