Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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