I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
