It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
