I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i out mim tonsoeep
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