Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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