finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
