This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
