i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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